December 23, 2010---32 Weeks

 How I feel: Well, I've pretty much had it. I'm tired of being pregnant. I wish I was due in December. This sucks. I enjoy feeling him kicking and rolling around in there, but I am pretty sure that with my short torso and there not really being any more room in there, both he and I will be glad when this is over. He apparently weighs about 4.5 lbs and can be compared to a honeydew melon. I can tell you that he likes to stretch out and I am wondering if he is actually an octopus. How else could I feel him in my ribs, on both sides and down on the bottom at the same time? I am starting to sense that he hates it when I do things like shave (totally squish him) and take hot showers or baths (he won't stop squirming). There is officially no way to sleep for more than an hour before I feel like my hips are going to break off. Oh, and I know that there are beautiful pregnant women out there. I have seen them with my own eyes. I, however, am definitely not one of them! I try to nod and act polite when someone tells me they can seem my "glow" and that I look "wonderful", blah blah blah. They are all liars. Generally it's women who know to compliment other women or else it's men who have had children and remember clearly how quickly the fangs of his wife would come out if he did not attempt to tell her that she was still attractive (even though it probably wasn't true...unless she was lucky enough to be one of those "beautiful pregnant women" I was referring to.) Carrying a life inside of you is one of the most beautiful things, don't get me wrong. But that's the only thing that's beautiful about it. There is nothing attractive about having to roll back and forth several times to gain the momentum to get out of bed in the morning (or many of the times to pee in the middle of the night). Or the huffing and puffing from walking around the mall for 10 minutes. I'm sorry, "waddling", not "walking". And forget bending over to pick something up. Ha! It is certainly amusing to those around us. And these are just things that complete strangers see. I will not even get into what Bill may or may not have seen (I try my best to change in the bathroom now). Ok, rant over. 8 weeks to go...